THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO ENCOURAGING INDEPENDENT PLAY
Independent play is a short term activity where children do undirected play under adult supervision. To explain it further, independent play is NOT isolated play, it’s rather a child doing the play in his own way without adult interference unless there’s a safety concern.
Parents today hear a lot of conflicting views about independent play. Because letting a child play all by himself is considered a lazy parenting technique and a lot of judgement is involved with it.
On the other hand, unsupervised play can cause a lot of danger for young children and is also looked down upon by society.
This article is about encouraging independent play with a lot of space for growth while ensuring their safety and giving attention when needed.
Strategies for Encouraging Independent Play
Provide a safe and stimulating environment
Independent play should always ensure safety of the children.
- You can child-proof the play area,
- Use age-appropriate toys, consider child-size furniture and store toys with easy access.
- Offering too many toys at a time can overstimulate children and they will find it hard to work on any toy in particular. Instead offer a few varied toys,
- Start sitting with them if they need you near-by and slowly distance yourself from their play and station yourself somewhere you can keep an eye on them.
Avoid over-scheduling or over-stimulating the children
Independent play requires a lot of relaxed time without a time limit.
- Try not to schedule too many such activities in one day as it can disturb their focus and concentration.
- Offering too many toy options, too many toys with lights and sounds in blinding colours can overstimulate children.
Instead, consider giving them only a few options including open ended toys like wooden block sets, pretend play sets etc.
Set realistic expectations and encourage persistence
In independent play, your expectations and what your child eventually does can be different.
When you expect your child to stack blocks and make a tall tower, you may find them role playing shops and taking blocks as fruits and vegetables.
It may look like an activity with no educational value and total opposite of what they are expected to do with blocks.
Relax! Play in every form develops their core skills and benefits them in many ways.
Instead of commenting something like “Good job” or “wow” which focuses on their end product, comment on the whole process of creating that product,
Ex: I see you’ve worked hard to make this.
It must have been hard to connect so many tiny pieces together.
Gradually increase the duration of independent play
Initially, you can encourage your kids to play independently for a short period of time. It can take 5-10 minutes at first. You can increase the time gradually.
What Are The Benefits of Encouraging Independent Play ?
Helping children develop self-sufficiency and self-regulation
When they get to play independently, they don’t get much direction and instruction from anybody. That means they need to figure things out all by themselves.
They will unpack toys, look at pictures on the package, decide what’s best to do with the play material, connect whatever needs to be connected.
It will be a great time to develop self-sufficiency because if there’s an adult involved, they will step up to help with most of these tasks. Sometimes that’s how we show them our love, isn’t it?
Allowing parents to have some much-needed time for themselves
Independent play gives some pockets of time for parents to recharge and take care of their own needs (without feeling guilty)
Next time you need to drink your coffee in peace, don’t feel guilty about it. You are doing your kids a favour by giving them time to play independently. They will do great as long as they are safe.
Enabling children to explore their interests and develop their passion
During independent play children don’t get told what to do. They can do whatever they like with whatever play material they have.
If you enjoy doing puzzles, you have the tendency to do puzzles with kids often.
But if you stay away a bit further and let them make decisions, they will go for what they really enjoy doing.
They may not go in parallel with expectations sometimes.
Ex: Kids will take blocks and pretend that they are different food items in their play kitchen station.
Though you might wonder what’s happening here, this is the ideal place for them to explore their own interests and passions.
Fostering creativity, imagination, and problem-solving skills
Independent play can do wonders for fostering creativity, imagination and problem solving skills.
Imaginative and creative faculties will be enhanced because it’s THEY who have to decide what to do and how to do it with the given play material.
Adult direction, however much we intend children’s wellbeing, can discourage creative thinking and their imaginative skills. We need them to do what WE need to see as the end result.
Ex: If we give them a bag of blocks and tell them, let’s make a tower, we have already done the crucial part ; decision making for them.
If they grab the bag of blocks and wonder what to do with it and finally decide to make a rocket ship with it or do a colour sorting game, it promotes their creativity , decision making and imagination too.
Because they might imagine the rocket ship to be similar to a tower which is not a bad visual memory after all 🙂
Enhances self-esteem and confidence
Being able to enjoy their own company can be therapeutic as well as a confidence boost for them.
Also being able to decide what to play and how to play, figure out how to do things without help improves their self-esteem big time.
Common Challenges with Independent Play
Resistance to independent play or separation anxiety
Some children do not enjoy playing independently especially if they haven’t had that exposure early on. But it’s never too late to introduce independent play to children. Start small and gradually increase the time !
Related article : Separation Anxiety In Children
Lack of interest or motivation
To help with lack of interest or motivation you can offer varied toys. Organise the play area nicely. Stack toys in a way that they are easily accessible and offer praise when they actively engage in play. At any cost avoid criticism!
Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another
This can be overcome with plenty of reminders beforehand. You can ring a bell or use a toddler clock. Or you can invent some interesting techniques to transition from one activity to another.
Ex: Stepping stones from one place to another
Over-dependence on screens or electronic devices
Finally, too much screen time can hinder children’s ability to focus, reason and do physical activity. So, about screen time, the less, the better!
Tips for Supporting Independent Play
Model independent play behavior by engaging in your own activities
You can model independent play through your everyday activities.
It can be your own routine like cleaning or decluttering or leisure time activities like painting,colouring or sewing.
Praise and encourage your child's independent play efforts
Your words of encouragement can go a long way. Remember to specifically comment on the whole process of creating something other than the final product itself.
ex: I see you have made hundreds of tiny paint strokes. They all look so smooth and colourful.
I see you have mixed so many colours to make different shades. I like your colour choices.
Offer guidance and support when needed
When necessary (with safety issue or imminent damage to the toy or the play area) you can offer guidance.
Also when they ask for something, you can offer choices and make it easier for them to figure it out.
Avoid micromanaging or interrupting the child during independent play
Children might not do exactly what’s supposed to be done. They will try to place the wrong piece of puzzle, start the base of a tower with the smallest block and so on.
Let them learn through trial and error and all you have to do is ensure their safety.
In Summary...
Independent play definitely has a lot of benefits for both you and your child. So next time you want to have a pocket of time to relax and recharge, don’t feel guilty.
Your children are going to learn so much through independent play. All you have to do is ensure their safety. And then… time for a hot cuppa!
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