How to Spot Child Anxiety Symptoms in Primary Schoolers

Young children often don’t have the words to say, “I’m feeling anxious.” Instead, their feelings come out in other ways. As a parent, it can be hard to tell if your child is just having a bad day or if they’re struggling with something deeper.

This article will help you understand how to notice child anxiety symptoms early and give you easy, helpful ways to help your child feel safe and calm.

What Does Anxiety Look Like in Young Children?

Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear or tears. For children in early primary school, it can show up in unexpected ways. Here are some common symptoms to watch for,

• They cry a lot when leaving you (even after a few weeks at school).
• They say their tummy hurts but there’s no real illness.
• They avoid new people, places or activities.
• They often ask “what if” questions like “What will happen if you’re not her?”
• They get very upset over small changes.
• They have trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares.
• They act “hyper” or “wild” when they’re actually feeling nervous.

If your child shows several of these signs for more than a few weeks, it might be time to gently support them with anxiety-reducing activities.

You should also speak with your paediatrician or school counsellor if you’re concerned.

7 Simple Parenting Tips for Easing Anxiety

The way you react when your child feels anxious can affect them greatly.

Kids may not always understand what’s going on inside them, but they’re incredibly tuned in to you. Your voice, your facial expressions, your ability to stay steady in the moment… it all helps them feel safe when the world feels uncertain.

Here are some small parenting shifts that can have a big impact.

1. Stay calm and steady

When your child is panicking about going to school or refusing to enter a birthday party, your instinct may be to rush or reason with them.

Instead, take a deep breath. Your calm energy tells your child, You don’t have to be afraid because I’m here. Even if you’re anxious inside (which is totally normal), your child benefits most from seeing you as their emotional anchor.

2. Stick to routines

Predictable days help anxious children feel like the world is manageable. Try to keep wake-up, meals, and bedtime at consistent times.

Even little rituals, like singing the same song during teeth brushing or packing their bag together in the morning, can be grounding.

If you know a schedule change is coming, give your child a heads-up early so they can prepare emotionally.

3. Use simple language to talk about feelings

Anxiety can feel big and scary. Breaking it down into kid-friendly language can make it more manageable.

Gently explain: “Sometimes our brains get stuck in worry mode. That’s not your fault. Let’s help it calm down together.”

You can even give the anxious voice a silly nickname like “Worry Worm” or “Nervous Nelly” to help your child talk back to it.

Also learning about how a child’s brain works in these situations can be highly beneficial. I highly recommend The Whole Brain Child by Daniel Jiegel and Tina Bryson for all parents.

4. Don’t avoid everything that causes anxiety

Avoidance might bring short-term relief, but over time it can make anxiety grow.

Instead, help your child take tiny steps towards the thing that scares them. For example, if they’re afraid of dogs, start by looking at pictures, then watching a calm dog from a distance, then maybe visiting a friend with a quiet pet.

Celebrate every small success, and keep things pressure-free. The goal is confidence, not perfection.

5. Praise efforts, not just results

Anxious children tend to be very self-critical. Your praise helps rewire how they see themselves.

Focus on their courage, not just outcomes. You could say, “I saw you wave to the new kid—great job being brave!” or “You stayed at the party longer than last time; amazing effort!”

When you cheer them on for their effort, they learn that giving it a try matters more than getting it perfect.

6. Be a safe landing spot

After a tough day, your child may act out; not because they’re “bad” but because they’ve used up all their coping energy.

Be ready with hugs, patience, and a quiet check-in: “Today seemed hard. Want to talk or cuddle?” Kids feel emotionally safe when they know they can mess up or cry and you’ll still love them just the same.

Each child relaxes in their own way. Find out which calming activities help them feel cool down after a long day.

7. Watch your own words

Kids are listening, even when you think they’re not.

Try to avoid saying things like “He’s just shy” or “She’s scared of everything” in front of them. Instead, say, “She’s still getting used to new situations” or “He’s learning to be brave in his own way.”

The words you choose shape how your child sees themselves.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to fix every worry your child has. Just being present, caring, and patient can ease many child anxiety symptoms.

These simple strategies help your child feel seen, heard, and secure. And always remember that your connection is the most powerful anxiety-fighter of all.