GUIDE TO 18 MONTH OLD TANTRUM

If you have ever wondered how I handle my child’s temper tantrums and if there is any way I can avoid those meltdowns, this complete guide to 18 month old tantrums is for you.

You head to the grocery store with your toddler and he happens to see some random stuff like tooth brushes and tries to grab them. When you say no, he goes through a whirlpool of emotions and starts screaming and kicking you in front of quite an audience.

It can be overwhelming and embarrassing for us parents , but I am here to say that behaviour is quite normal for a toddler at that age.

Today, let me share with you what I have learnt about 18 month old tantrum. As a momma of two young kids, I have been in similar situations more times than I can count, so I thought maybe I could help another parent with what I have learnt over the years.

Why do tantrums happen?

Small children are most likely to have a meltdown when they are upset or frustrated. Their understanding of different emotions and ways of expressing their needs has limitations and that can lead to frustration most of the time.

Read my article on 29 tricks to help toddler talk

In addition to that, their threshold of frustration is lower when they are tired, hungry, overstimulated or bored so a tantrum is most likely in these instances.

18 month old tantrum at bedtime

It’s not easy for parents when your kiddo becomes hysterical around bedtime when all you need to do is put them to sleep and have some time for yourself.

It’s the end of a long day for both of you guys, so usually you just find it impossible to handle any more acting out. Ok here is my mantra for a smooth bedtime routine.

It’s 3Bs rule- Bath, Book, Bed. I know it is NOT as easy as it sounds, but trust me, with consistent practice of this rule, your child will get there, eventually! I swear by these little tips to make it easier.

Not just during bedtime. Tantrums can happen at any time of the day. Sometimes your child may get hungry, tired, frustrated or it can happen for no reason.
I know what you think, YES, there’s no real formula to it but you will learn what triggers your child’s behaviour if you pay close attention.

Bedtime routine should be consistent – That’s one reason why a simple routine like Bath, Book and Bed works for us.
Because it’s so simple and can be done every day with no hassle. Establish a daily routine so that your child knows what to expect.
Soothing and relaxing music– It helps kids wind up and they will be ready to sleep soon.
Books specifically designed for bedtime– Exciting and thrilling stories are not going to help you at this time. Some simple rhymes and charming illustrations read in a low , rhythmic tone do the trick for me. Try it!!

Having said that, if you find your child is having a hysterical fit, there are a few tips you should follow to handle the whole situation like a boss momma (at least pretend like a boss momma).

Tips to handle 18 month old tantrum like a boss

For toddlers, time-in works. This doesn’t mean putting your child in a corner or sending him to his room as punishment.
It means telling the child in a calm voice that you will wait for her to calm down and that you want to talk about everything when that happens. It gives you some time to calm down if you feel overwhelmed.

For older children you can use calming steps like deep breathing, counting backwards etc.

Handle aggressive behaviour immediately – Let your child know it’s ok to be angry but it’s not ok to hurt others.

If you raise your voice, apologise! – Remember your child will observe your behaviour and learn a lot about handling different emotions.

Distract them– Talk about something else and let them forget their frustration. Ex: Guess what I am going to make for lunch! Something you love to eat!

Use brief commands. Use clear and brief commands that are easy to understand like let’s eat something, let’s colour a picture. AVOID giving vague ideas like – Be good, behave yourself etc

Give them a hug– Hugs make kids feel secure and let them know that you care about them, even if you don’t agree with their behaviour.

Give advance warning before a transition. Ex: I am going to switch off the TV in 10 minutes, You can play (at the park) for another 5 minutes and then we are going home.

Children can get really cranky and hysterical when the daily activities are unpredictable.

Pick your own battle– Saying no to everything your child is asking is not going to help both of you. Discretion is key here.

I would let my kids wear any clothing they pick as long as it’s suitable for the weather, Sometimes they pick the most mismatched colours and I am ok with that because my sanity is more important than any of those. haha.
However, giving in and letting kids watch TV or eat sugary treats throughout the day to avoid a tantrum is NOT what I mean by that.

Switch location– This helps wherever you are. In a public place, find a quieter place with no hazards around, At home, simply changing the room or stepping out of the house for fresh air can help your child be calm again.

Don’t take their angry words personally. Sometimes they may say they don’t love you. It’s just another way of saying they need more of you, your support than anything else.

I am sure these tips will help you navigate yours and your kiddoes’ feelings better.

Nevertheless, don’t forget that tantrums are normal for kids that age which means if your child continues to have meltdowns sometimes even after all these adjustments have been made, there’s nothing wrong with you or your child. ( All I can offer is solidarity 🙂 )

Although these tips are gold when it comes to handling a tantrum, personally I believe that avoiding a tantrum is the most important thing here.

It’s not something we can learn overnight but through trial and error you will keep learning about the triggers that change your child’s behaviour . These tips will help you to get prepared to avoid your child’s tantrums as much as possible.

How to stop 18 month old tantrum

This may be something you as a parent have wondered so many times. Again I think there are a few simple tips that will help minimise 18 month old tantrum and make your life so much easier.

Plan ahead– When you are running errands, Pack a snack and a toy for the kids. You don’t want to deal with a hungry and bored toddler while you are out and about. Trust me!

Let your child make appropriate choices – To give your child a sense of control, let them make choices when appropriate. ex: Would you like to eat toast or cereal?

Praise good behaviour – When the child follows directions, give him a hug and tell him you are proud of him.

Avoid situations that are likely to trigger tantrums – ex: If your child throws fits at restaurants, you can bring some crayons and papers with you to keep him engaged or pick kids- friendly restaurants with play areas attached.

Help your child understand their emotions – You can read books about different emotions like happiness, sadness, tiredness, anger etc.
Use these words in everyday life so they understand them better. ex: I am so happy that you like my drawing, I am tired so I am going to sit down and rest for a bit.

Identify tantrum triggers – like tiredness, hunger, worries, fears or overstimulation. You might be able to plan for these situations to avoid the triggers. ex: Try to avoid nap time when going on outings.
Overstimulation happens when children are bombarded by more experiences, sensations, sounds, and activities than they can handle.

Talk about emotions after a tantrum when your child is calm. For example, “ Did you spill the milk on the floor because it wasn’t warm enough for you? what else could you have done?”

Model positive reactions to stress – ex: I can’t find my valet in my handbag. If I take a deep breath, it will help me stay calm and help me think of where I put it.

Check food and sleep– Sometimes a lack of proper nutrition and sleep can lead to irritability.

Consider tools that may help– Checklists and schedules can help children transition more smoothly. Magnetic calendars, Reward charts, sticker charts, simple daily routine charts to encourage and appreciate them.

Tantrums can be hard for both the child and the parent. If you feel like you are drained to the core by your child’s big feelings, it’s high time you take measures to take care of yourself. These simple tips will help you manage your own feelings.

Managing your own feelings

Remember that tantrums are a part of their development. Accept the fact that you can’t control your child’s emotions and behaviour directly.

Accept that you can’t change everything overnight. Be consistent and patient.

Don’t worry about what other people will think. The ones who have had kids know this is normal for a kid that age. If they don’t, that’s ok. It’s super easy to be judgemental. Focus on your child and yourself and handle the situation like a pro.

Tip for you : Be calm no matter how your child is acting out and everyone around you will think you are handling it like a pro and everything is under control. (even when it’s not the case) You are welcome 🙂

Having said that, there are instances where we can’t just brush off their tantrums as normal. Let’s see when we should talk to our healthcare provider about our toddler’s temper tantrums.

When to contact your healthcare provider

Temper tantrums persist or get worse after age 4.
Your child hurts themselves or someone else.
Temper tantrums are severe, last long or happen often.
Your child has trouble talking, breathing or fainting during a meltdown.